


At the end of the tunnel

by snowashes



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: A little bit of Takumi/Keigo and Yonashiro/Ruki, Angst, Everyone's dead actually lmao, Fluff i would say too, Fluffgst, Forgive my bad english and my equally bad writing skills, He helps souls to get to the next steap, M/M, Ren is kinda like a ripper?, Takumi is a soul duh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28003557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowashes/pseuds/snowashes
Summary: That night, Kawashiri Ren allowed himself to be more than a believer.
Relationships: Kawanishi Takumi/Kawashiri Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	At the end of the tunnel

**Author's Note:**

> For: Ji. 
> 
> Happy late birthday, little pumpkin.

The moonlight shone on the crystal marble of the tombstones, creating a beam of light through the darkness.

Kawashiri Ren walked with a sky lantern in hand, the flame of the artefact being lit by his own spiritual energy. His steps had a characteristic weight on the ground; his ears were familiar to the sound of the souls resting.

The night was calm, shielding itself in a deathly silence. As a _soulwalker_ , his job was to protect the souls from the dead, guide them to the astral plane where they belong, and let them continue their way.

A guttural sound, broken by heavy breaths, echoed under the starry sky, breaking the harmony of the cemetery.

Ren started walking to the source of the sound, getting involved in the sea of tombstones at his feet. The sky lantern’s flame quickly changed its perpetual color into a fierce combination of blue, orange, yellow and purple.

With this action, Ren frowned. Normally the flame of the sky lantern indicated the state in which the soul was. Having this strange event brought new questions to the fact.

When he reached the place where the sound belonged, he came across a peculiar image.

There was a boy, next to his own tombstone, probably in his early 20s. The corporeal shape of his soul distorted with each staccato sound, fading between each sentence he tried to speak.

"No. I've done it, and you? Please, please look at me. I thought you didn't like coffee? Yes, I did the homework." Said the boy's soul. His expressions changing at the beginning of each sentence, taking a different shape every time. It was like looking at a collage of memories that had no order.

Ren slowly approached him, forming a protective circle around them to prevent another soul from getting involved in the process.

"Hi. I am Ren. Do you know where you are? " Ren asked cautiously, trying to get his attention.

The soul seemed not to understand the situation he was in, speaking again in broken sentences and making a kind of short circuit in each one.

“Keigo, stop, I've already told you a million times. Have you ever heard of this band? Mom, I'm a big boy now, I am capable. Of course I would love to!"

Ren weighed the situation clearly. He was a lost soul, his death had probably been disastrous, so his soul seemed to be scattered or damaged. Normally, in these cases, the safest thing was to wait for the pieces of it to meet again; every soul would rejoin at the end of its path to be able to continue with its destiny.

There was nothing possible in his hands to be able to help on the path of this soul. Nothing, at the moment.

He placed a protective circle around the soul again. At this stage it was essential to keep it away from any evil or hungry spirits.

Ren turned to look at the boy's soul before going back to his usual walk in the cemetery.

His face was combined in pain, silent tears rolled down that skin that had been young in his past life. Each sentence was a different scene, but the pain in the words was omnipresent in every word.

"Please, please. Please, please. Please, please."

*

The next night, the sounds of that boy's soul continued.

Ren brought with him petals of different flowers. These helped the soul to begin to recognize its surroundings and thus be able to bring it completely to the astral plane.

Upon reaching the protective circle on one side of the soul, he began to distribute them over the entire surface. The soul continued to have its ‘ _short circuits_ ’.

“Have you ever tried this? I haven't, mom. It's something strange, it had never happened to me. I don’t know; I don’t know."

Ren continued placing candles around the circle, these helped guide the soul more quickly. When he finished, Ren stared at the soul and began reciting the common prayers that he used to get the souls back on track.

“See again the light at the end of the road, the light at the end of the tunnel. Come back one more time and finish what you started." Ren recited in a whisper, the flare of the sky lantern continued to change between a rainbow of colors.

When he finished the sentences, his eyes were fixed on the boy's soul. A bit of color had appeared in his body form, but it continued with the mess of memories to which he was still attached.

Ren, without being very careful, ended up concentrating on the details of his form. As he had deduced earlier, he appeared to be in his early twenties. Although he couldn't make out his actual colors, Ren could tell that he had been someone incredibly handsome, judging by the fineness of his features.

One of his memories ended up being an episode of laughter, the face of the soul shining strangely before him. Ren gasped, saving every move in his mind unconsciously.

"Who were you and what brought you here?" Ren asked out of the blue, before leaving and continuing his usual walk through the cemetery.

*

The nights continued in the same way. Ren would come on his usual walks through the cemetery and reinforce the circle of protection while spreading new flower petals and changing the candles every time they seemed to run out.

As he finished his routine prayers, Ren tried to communicate with the soul, asking him his name and if he knew where he was. Each attempt ended up being in vain, always obtaining unfinished dialogues of the soul’s old life.

It wasn’t until the tenth day that he felt that there was something different in the solemnity of that night.

Ren, while arriving at the usual place where the lost soul was protected, he ran into the boy who was sitting on his own tombstone. Tears rolled down his cheeks, which ended up fading as they left his body form. It took Ren a few seconds to notice that he didn't have the usual ‘ _short circuits_ ’.

"Hi?" Ren broke the silence of his sobs, the soul looked in surprise when he noticed another presence besides his own. "I’m Ren. Can I know your name?"

The boy looked at him suspiciously, trying to hide his tears behind intrinsic movements. He tore his gaze away from Ren, fearfully surveying his surroundings. It was like watching a newborn wake up to a new world. The uncertainty of knowing who he was and where he was shone through his eyes.

“You don't have to be scared. I’m here to help you." His tone of voice was sweeter than normal, there was something peculiar about that soul that brought out his different side.

Ren knew that he wasn’t going to get a quick answer, so he decided to start his itinerary of reinforcing the path for that soul. Although the soul seemed to regain shape and didn’t succumb anymore to his memories, the flame in his sky lantern kept changing hue, guaranteeing that the soul was still lost.

When he finished transmitting spiritual energy to the circle, a bit of color revived in the boy. His face was momentarily shocked; the boy's attention being dispersed at the movement of his hands.

"I'm dead right?" The soul asked, as Ren began to recite his prayers.

Ren looked at him, he seemed to know the answer and at the same time to be ignorant to it. He nodded, continuing with his prayers.

"There is no way to go back, right?" Ren stopped again, nodded and continued reciting those usual verses to light the path of souls. As a _soulwaker_ he had to act as a spiritual guide, trying to close the ropes of those wandering souls.

The boy's soul was silent this time. Ren recited the last sentence and was met with a small sob again. The boy was hugging himself, his arms around his torso and his handsome face showing vulnerability.

Something in Ren snapped. It was normal to have to deal with these types of scenes, but Ren still had the heart necessary to be able to succumb to those feelings of fear and sadness. 

He slowly approached the boy, sitting on a tombstone close to him. “I’m really dead. I'm dead."

His little sobs continued, Ren did what he always used to do with those desolate souls, he placed a hand on their backs and guaranteed them a shoulder to cry on.

The moment he felt a presence by his side, the boy turned to look at him and, in the blink of an eye, he ended up succumbing to heaven and earth.

The guttural sound that characterized his early days didn’t compare to his actual crying. His face continued to show a lost and painful look. It was sad that he knew that there would never be life in him.

Time passed until his sobs ended in a deathly silence. The flame of the sky lantern continued to dance in unusual tones, Ren was watching it carefully, interspersing it with his attention to the boy's soul.

"I can’t go." Said the boy's soul, his gaze was lost somewhere on the ground. "Not yet."

Ren watched him. "I’m here to help you ..."

The soul watched him for a few moments, Ren smiled sincerely at him. "Takumi. Kawanishi Takumi. "

"Takumi, I am here to help you." His hand kept trying to comfort the soul, the candles kept shining in the circle of protection. “I don't think I can lie by telling you that you are going to come back to life. But I can definitely help you take the next step. "

Takumi, who still had tear streaks on his transparent cheeks, nodded, a little lost in his movements.

"Am I really dead?" He asked after a while.

Ren nodded. "Yes. You are in the limbo. Your soul hasn’t been able to rest yet and you find yourself wandering. "

Takumi looked at him confused, Ren didn't blame him, it was a lot to take on in a few minutes. "Wandering?"

"Do you see the flame of that sky lantern?" He pointed to the artifact that rested beside her. “It indicates that your soul isn’t complete. Once you are complete and at peace, the sky lantern will guide you on the next path. "

Takumi nodded, still consumed with his own thoughts. Ren decided it was time to leave him alone and let him slowly assimilate the situation.

"Don't worry, Takumi. Everything will be fine. I’m here to help you." Ren gave him a small smile, feeling how a weight seemed to fall on those words. Ren was always in the best disposition to help, but there was a small change in this situation.

The moment Takumi gave him a slight smile -the moonlight reflecting in his semi-transparent corporeal form- Ren knew that, ultimately, this task was going to be difficult for him.

*

The following days Takumi continued in a neutral state. The flame of the sky lantern that Ren held in his hands couldn’t remain blue, which signified the peace of the soul and his resignation towards the next step on his journey. The hues kept wandering, uncontrollably, curiously resembling the same state of the soul.

Takumi didn't usually talk much; he was still in his downcast mood. Ren continued with the same routine to be able to safely send energy to his soul, by scattering the petals, candles and prayers.

Ren noticed as the days went by that, when he closed his eyes and gave himself to the prayers to strengthen Takumi's soul, this was the only moment when Takumi let go of his absent gaze and seemed to enter a state of total calmness.

On the fifth night, it was when Takumi decided to break his usual silence, caused by the action of refusing to face his condition.

"What are those ... prayers for?" He asked in a small voice, slurring his words, as if he wanted not to be heard.

A sincere smile was born on Ren’s cheeks, he was surprised to hear Takumi’s voice after days. It was a common question among souls, _what was the need for prayers_?

While Ren hadn’t a concrete answer, he knew that the simple act made souls find a bit of the serenity they were seeking for, regardless of whether they had been religious or not in their past lives.

Takumi's innocent gaze made Ren strangely give in to telling the truth. He knew there was nothing to be gained by lying to him, but even so, he wasn’t entirely comfortable discussing the real reason for this little ritual.

"Did you ever believe in something?" Ren took a seat next to Takumi, taking the soul question as an invitation. When faced with the other's silence, he let out an airy laugh. "Don’t worry. I'm not the one to judge you, Takumi. "

"Is there something? Something beyond this? " His expression reminded Ren of the innate purity and naivety of humans, but it also resonated with him of the uncertainty they lived by themselves. There was nothing more curious than blindly trusting something you couldn't even perceive.

"I really don't know." Ren shrugged. He, as a _soulwalker_ , who wandered between the lines of humanity and spirituality, who didn’t belong to a specific side, didn’t know all the details that went after death.

Kawashiri Ren was only in charge of guiding the spirits, _to exactly what_? He himself hadn’t yet found the answer.

"I don't know what's next after accepting your fate." Ren admitted, a little embarrassed in his words. "I sincerely hope it is what the souls expect."

Takumi continued to look confused, a little curiosity was still present in those delicate features. Ren was betting that in his past life he had been the center of attention, his very presence was making him come to the conclusion that he wasn’t such a typical human.

"So, you haven't died?"

Ren, surprised at the question, casted his gaze on him. “I don't even know if I was ever human. I like to think that I really lived a full life. "

Takumi smiled at this, the shyness surrounding him naturally fading. “It must be hard work. Having to deal with dead people. "

"Souls is the correct term." Takumi let out a laugh, at Ren's serious face. “But yes, it is hard work. Most of the time is too exhausting. "

"Have you ever thought of retiring?"

It was Ren's turn to laugh, reveling in the perplexed expression of the soul. "Millions of times. I really don't remember why I'm here. If I knew who to present my resignation letter to, I would have done it for years. "

Takumi went on to ask questions related to his work as a _soulwalker_ , -the nature of it, extraordinary anecdotes and a few doubts about the processes that he managed to be able to guide souls correctly.

And, when he least expected it, the night gradually began to fade.

Before continuing with his routine, a force stopped him from his wrist. Takumi's form had gained more presence and his gaze was downcast when he met Ren's stunned expression.

"Thanks for clearing my mind tonight." He admitted with an unattainable sincere smile, behind his eyes he could detect that anguish that was still more than present. But there was something else, a hint of imperceptible bliss.

Ren returned the smile. "I’m here to help you."

*

The nights and days continued to pass, one after another, leaving little traces of a circumstantial bond between Ren and Takumi. Ren slowly began to open up little by little towards Takumi, who in turn was feeling comfortable in his presence and managed to awaken that outburst of curiosity in Ren himself.

As ideal as their relationship seemed to be, Kawashiri Ren kept ignoring the problem reminiscent of every interaction he had with the little man.

Kawanishi Takumi was a soul who had to continue with his journey and Kawashiri Ren was the one for that job.

The light from the sky lantern was the usual reminder that it didn’t matter how comfortable Kawashiri Ren was with Takumi, he was still a wayward soul, searching for his way after death.

That night had been no exception. Talking to Takumi had become a necessary routine that slowly made him feel that perhaps he had life in him.

Sitting on one of the tombstones, -a circle of flower petals sheltering them in a circle of reminiscent protection and the light of the candles that tried to guide them to an unknown destination-, it reminded him that this situation was nothing more than a way of extending and completing his job as a _soulwalker_.

“I was a baseball player. One of the team's aces. " At Ren's small laugh, Takumi looked at him confused. "Do you think that I’m lying because of my complexion?"

"Is not that." Ren admitted, letting out a sigh and gazing at the crescent moon shape on the horizon. "The souls have told me before what baseball is, but I’ve never seen it with my own eyes."

Takumi nodded, his face formulating an expression that screamed guilt. Sometimes their conversations became so human, so mundane that the moment he touched the ground and found out again that this bond actually went beyond any human relationship, it caused such a bitter taste in his mouth.

A silence settled between them and, when he least expected it, a corporeal, moderately tangible form rested on his hands.

Ren looked up, Takumi's hand was now making its way through his palm. The soul tried to avoid his gaze, his shoulders were hunched in what Ren would define as grief.

"Maybe one day I could teach you, Ren-kun." Takumi said as he gained the strength to speak without stumbling over his words.

Ren smiled slightly, looked at their hands and ended up entwining them. He was beginning to feel a strange feeling inside him, _was it warmness_?

A light sigh rose from his lips. The night shone with vivacity, time continued its journey and the flame of the sky lantern continued in its nature of changing colors, without finding stability.

Still, Ren clenched their clasped hands and gave him a glance before saying, "Maybe, someday."

*

The next night, as Ren made his routine walk through the cemetery, saying prayers and reinforcing the spiritual circles of the souls that continued to search his way, a desperate cry ended up awakening the evening and Shiroiwa Ruki, another of the _soulwalkers_ guarding the cemetery, appeared, -his face collapsed into a grimace of anger and despair.

"Ren." He interrupted the sentence the _soulwalker_ was in. A particular aroma was emitting from him and, involuntarily, he looked at the sky lantern in Ruki's hands. It was totally black. "We have a problem."

Ruki led him through the sea of tombstones, Ren was starting to shake as he began to notice that this was the usual path to Takumi's tombstone.

When they arrived, their worst fears were coming true.

Kawanishi Takumi's soul had ended up returning to its state of the beginning, with the difference that now the missing pieces of the soul had decided to bind themselves to the human world. For as long as Ren could remember, he had come across similar cases, but not of this magnitude.

The problem was that, although it was by fact that the soul’s parts would end up meeting again, if some piece ended up being tied to the human world, the _soulwalkers_ wouldn’t have the power to bring them together completely and the next step on their way would end unfinished, outside of his hands and of any pure nature.

Ren had always defined his task as a _soulwalke_ r as someone capable of quenching a flame, regardless of how big it was, there would always be something that would make it ignite more and end up burning everything around it.

Instead of shouting, Shiroiwa Ruki began reciting his prayers, while transmitting spiritual energy to the protection circle and reinforcing it to prevent it from spreading to other souls. Ren quickly followed suit, putting all his energy into it and focusing on being able to calm the soul.

Takumi was a whirlwind of memories, dissolving between each piece of his past life and unraveling by each scream that rose from his throat.

Ren watched in terror at the way that Takumi’s death had probably been. Takumi was indecipherable behind a bloody face, several wounds proclaimed his sides and his legs seemed useless.

One of the peculiarities in this type of cases was that the souls attracted physical elements from their memories, so Ren could see that the cause of his death had been a terrible car accident.

It seemed that his death hadn’t been instantaneous. Takumi screamed in guttural pain, the kind of pain that made you feel his own suffering and left you stunned. The memory of the soul asked for help, help that never came, and its gaze was particularly fixed on an object at its side.

“Keigo, please, wake up. Keigo? Please, wake up. Please, please."

Ren opened his eyes slightly when he noticed how the soul succumbed to the pain of the memory and the pain of his own body. His hands were shaking to the point that it seemed to be a movement belonging to himself.

The last scream ended in a heartbreaking “ _Please, don't leave me_ ” and the Takumi in the memory ended up surrendering to his own injuries and knocking himself out, losing blood every minute and suffering in deathly silence all the damage to his body.

As the memory finished, Ren could feel that the soul seemed to slowly regain control. And from the look Ruki gave him, Ren guessed there was nothing else to do for tonight.

They continued to reinforce the circle of protection and prepare a mixture of different flowers in order to make the soul know its surroundings more. Before leaving, they said their prayers, this time the two of them intertwining their hands and applying energy to the soul.

“See the light at the end of the road, the light at the end of the tunnel. Come back one more time and finish what you started." They recited over and over again until Takumi turned back to the jumbled memory mixture, finally not attracting any physical objects.

Ren stood still, observing every precious detail of Takumi. Something in him tried to hold on to what little sanity he possessed and a tear began to run slowly down his cheek.

"You shouldn’t get involved beyond what is strictly allowed with the souls, Ren." Ruki said, his cold breath puffing that wet path on his face.

His gaze was also lost. Ren remembered that Ruki himself had been through a similar situation years ago. _Yonashiro Sho_ had been the name. Ruki had become involved with the soul to the point of almost losing it completely.

The result had been devastating, even though in the end Yonashiro's soul had managed to meet again, Shiroiwa Ruki hadn’t been the same since that day when he handed Sho his sky lantern and watched him disappear forever.

While observing that Ren didn’t want to speak that day, finding himself so lost and at the same time so tired, Ruki only placed a hand on his shoulder. He squeezed him lightly and he let out a sigh that attracted the darkest memory of his past.

"Remember, we are only here to be a guide, not the light itself."

Ren could never have thought that he would feel the cold get rid of him piece by piece tonight.

*

There were another sixteen nights in which Ren continued to carry out his daily work and, at the end of each day, he rested and soothed the soul of Kawanishi Takumi that was still wandering like the beginning.

Ren continued with that feeling in his chest, it was like feeling that everything was trying to come out and completely undo him. It was a strange feeling that he wasn’t used to.

On the seventeenth night, Kawanishi Takumi was sitting on one of the tombstones. His corporeal form lacked opacity and was even more transparent than the first time when he regained control of his soul.

"Takumi?" Ren asked carefully, he had put all his energy back into the protective circle so that he could prevent something from becoming dangerous in case Takumi lost control of his soul again.

Takumi's face was full of tears, his small body trembling and assimilating to that scene in the car accident, lonely and scared of what was happening.

For the second time in a long time, Ren was surprised to feel a presence cling to him. In the blink of an eye, Takumi found himself with the shadow of his arms around Ren's shoulders, his face resting on his chest and his sobs were so devastating that the _soulwalker_ felt a shiver down his spine.

For the third time in a long time, Ren was surprised to feel his heart break apart knowing that the only thing he could do was return the hug and try to provide that nonexistent warmth that he lacked.

Takumi cried until his soul grew weary and, in a small voice, he said against Ren's shoulder: “I’m sorry, Ren-kun. Forgive me."

Ren sighed, running a hand over what was the shadow on Takumi’s back. "Why are you asking for forgiveness?"

“I haven’t been able to find peace. I haven’t been able to rest and finally continue my journey. "

A wind blew through the graveyard, causing Ren to seize his own thoughts.

Humans were so complicated, but at the same time that humanity made Ren feel jealous. There was something about them that reminded him that they had more than one purpose, even after death.

"Everyone does it at their own pace, Takumi." Ren commented, detaching himself slightly from the soul. His silhouette was so transparent that it had taken on the color of the tombstone. "You don’t need to apologize."

At the small smile that ended up taking over Takumi's face, Ren knew that he was the one who definitely owed the apologies.

But the only thing he ended up giving was a reciprocated smile, no matter how painful it felt.

*

The nights continued in the same routine. Ren said his prayers, strengthened the circle, placed the petals and tried to get to know Takumi more deeply.

He knew that the days with the soul were running out. As much as Takumi had turned into an inexplicable warmth in him, he knew that, at the end of all this, the only reason he had met him was that Ren served as his guide to the next step.

With each day, as much as Takumi seemed to regain that insight and ‘life’ in him, there was something about the way his eyes slowly lost that shine. It was tiredness, it was the desire to be able to leave behind what was binding him to both, the astral and the human world.

"The last thing I remember before I died was having cold and tears running down my face." Takumi commented on a desolate night. After days without having enough energy, this time he had decided to take the lead in the conversation.

Ren nodded, feeling uncomfortable knowing a bit of the story behind his death. "Souls usually tell me that the last thing they felt was a cold all over their body."

Takumi shook his head, his gaze fixed on one of the tombstones. “But this cold wasn’t like the cold I knew it to be. It ended up freezing me from head to toe. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think straight. "

After a silence, Ren decided to start asking a little about Takumi’s life. So far, the _soulwalker_ had been respectful of what Takumi had chosen to share with him. This was the first time he had done his work as a _soulwalker_ and tried to close those unfinished ends in Kawanishi Takumi's life.

"I have heard in your memoirs that you often mention a name repeatedly." Ren started, momentarily getting Takumi's attention. "Keigo?"

Silence reigned to the point that Ren had decided to end the day and ask the matter again the next night.

Surprisingly, before Ren could say goodbye, the soul spoke in a small voice. "Sato Keigo."

 _Sato Keigo_? The name sounded familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. His memory tried to drift through the memories. “He was my best friend, my soul mate. At this point I feel that we were everything, but at the same time nothing."

Ren nodded, taking Takumi’s hand on his own and trying to give him some strength. The soul looked as lost as that first time, without knowing where to start and how to end. This was the perfect time to be able to find out where he could end this whole thing.

“I remember it was a warm night in July. It was very late and we were fighting. We always fought for everything, but at the same time we always ended up reconciling. " He let a sigh pass his heart-shaped lips, looking so broken that he managed to stagger Ren. “I was angry, I don't remember the reason, but we spent the whole time yelling at each other. And all of a sudden everything went black. "

Ren's memory returned to those images of Takumi disoriented, screaming and asking, with the little breath he had, for a miracle, for something that would make him wake up from that terrible nightmare.

“I woke up and saw everything upside down. The pain I felt was so silent that I couldn’t assimilate it. And, there he was, by my side, or what was left of him. "

There were no tears that navigated that skin, not even sobs that were uttered between ragged breaths. There were only a few eyes that tried to find that peace from which they were snatched.

"I don't remember much after that, because the next thing that happened, I felt a cold all over my body and I ended up deciding to sleep to stop feeling it."

A few moments passed where Ren tried to find the right words, his hands were still holding Takumi's.

"Didn't you say a goodbye?"

Takumi was surprised to hear his voice, jolting slightly. Ren had thought about it from the moment he heard the name come out of Takumi's memories. Souls always used to demonstrate what had them still tied to the human world and Takumi had been no exception.

"No."

"Takumi, you know I'm here to help you right?" Ren asked, getting Takumi's full attention. "My goal has always been to try to help you, even if you felt you didn't need it."

Takumi seemed to weigh the words, stiffening and watching Ren with determined fear. His eyes showed what other souls felt when they began to understand that all they needed at that moment was to keep moving forward, without looking back, without having ties.

"Why are you telling me this, Ren-kun?" The thread of his voice trailed to the point that it made him look younger than he was.

“It’s time to rest, Takumi. It’s your time to rest. "

When he finished the words, the soul stiffened, releasing his hand and turning his back on Ren. It took awhile for his shoulders to stop being tense and he ended up releasing a ragged sigh. It was the small gesture that a defeated person made before breaking apart in a heartbreaking sob.

"I don’t know. I don't know, Ren-kun. "

Ren took him back into his arms, feeling his presence as intangible as it was.

And, in that moment, hugging Takumi against himself like this and thinking that he might have ever heard that heartbeat that souls talked about so much, he knew that, perhaps, he hadn't made the worst decisions all this time.

Not if they involved Kawanishi Takumi.

*

The nights continued their process, the routine didn’t change.

There were nights when Takumi was silent, there were nights when he tried to disperse his thoughts with words that sometimes sounded so empty to Ren's ears.

After six nights, after researching hard, Ren had decided to help Takumi take that small but important step.

As usual he finished the prayers first and reinforced the circle with different flower petals around Takumi. The soul had obtained a more tangent color, to the point of being considered to look almost human.

At the end of his talk, Ren approached Takumi, taking his hand and guiding him through the cemetery.

"Ren-kun? Is it okay that I came out of the circle? " His voice had a hint of concern.

They walked for a few minutes until they came across a specific section in the cemetery. Takumi, noticing the marble name on the tombstone in front of him, dropped down to his knees.

The moments that followed were eternal, Takumi didn’t even dare to break the atmosphere with a tear. His gaze was lost, his hands wandered and highlighted the letters that denoted the name "S _ato Keigo_ " on the tombstone.

After a few eternal seconds, his small voice caught Ren's attention.

"Did he continue on his journey?"

Ren dared to sit next to Takumi, watching the flowers around the tombstone and the message that was engraved on the marble.

_Living is challenging yourself, until you give in and end up giving your whole being._

“The name sounded familiar to me. But, actually, he didn’t go through the process. He went on his way without having to run into us. "

Takumi's eyes widened, he looked confused. Ren gave him a sincere smile.

“Sometimes souls don't need a guide. Sometimes they’re their own light for their path. "

At this, Takumi bit his lips in an attempt not to lose his composure. In the end he gave in, tears began to flood his cheeks.

"Thank you, Ren-kun." Takumi admitted on a sob, his gaze was so delicate, but at the same time it glowed with an unrecognizable peace. It was the process of knowing that everything would be fine, that saying goodbye at this moment didn’t mean an end to their path.

Ren smiled, taking his hands and trying to disperse the shadows of those tears.

"As I said, from the beginning, I’m here to help you."

*

Ren decided to leave Takumi alone for some time while the soul tried to say goodbye and find the right words to finish this stage.

The _soulwalker_ 's mind began to wander in a sea of thoughts. He knew that there was something that was preventing him from being the guide on Takumi's path, but still, he felt the need to find everything within his reach so that the soul could finally rest.

It was strange being selfish for the first time in a long time. There was no doubt that Ren wanted all the best for the soul, regardless of whether it involved himself getting hurt in the process.

Ruki's words came to him, " _Remember, we are only here to be a guide, not the light itself_ ". Ren let out a sigh, the kind of sigh that went through his entire body and made him surrender to the inevitable.

At that moment, Takumi walked towards him. Although he gave an air of being still preoccupied with his own concerns, he had a look of peace, unlike other nights.

One step closer to what his destiny was. 

"Ready?" Ren smiled, while extending his hand.

Regardless of everything, Takumi smiled behind glassy eyes, taking his hand with care.

Everything would be fine.

*

The nights passed as always, the natural clock of the world becoming the reminiscence that the end of their nights together was approaching.

Each night, at the end of his mundane talks of things Takumi had done in his previous life, Ren ended the night with the same question: " _Ready?_ " And every time he got the same answer from the soul: " _Soon_."

Having learned simple facts from the soul had made him know that perhaps they weren’t that different. Takumi’s way of approaching the issues was so charismatic that they made him forget that Kawashiri Ren didn’t know much about his existence, his beginning and what he would be like in his end.

"So, what will await me on the other side?" Takumi asked one night. Lately, he had completely recovered his color. There was still a bit of transparency in his corporeal form, but he could go unnoticed just like Ren.

After finishing his usual prayers, Ren took a fist of the petals and placed them on the hair crown of the soul, watching closely as he smiled from ear to ear.

"I don't know, that's what's intriguing." Ren admitted, taking Takumi’s hand - an addictive habit that had been established between them - and began to place several petals between his fingers as well. "Both life and death are unexpected, would there be any grace to know about these stages?"

Takumi nodded. "You’re right, Ren-kun."

The moment passed in silence, each person preoccupied with their own thoughts. Ren turned to look at Takumi, his handsome profile being illuminated by the moonlight.

Today, more than another day, Takumi was the only one that shone in this lugubrious place.

"I think I'm ready, Ren-kun." Takumi said in a small voice, squeezing his hand. Unlike other times, the soul didn’t tremble. Ren could make out the determination on his face.

It was time to dive deep into this sea, no matter how uncertain it might be.

Ren bit his lip, trying not to try to break his uncertainty. He ended nodding, watching that the diversity of colors in the sky lantern that he always carried with himself had turned into a blue.

The most beautiful blue Ren have ever seen.

Ren stood up, taking Takumi's hands and reaching for the sky lantern to place it on his lap. The light looked so vivid, so different from those past memories.

“Your path doesn’t end here, Kawanishi Takumi. This light will be your companion; you will be its guide. " He admitted with a small smile, trying to prevent his voice from denoting his emotional state. "You’re not alone, Takumi."

Takumi smiled back, pressing his lips together and averting his gaze slightly. He looked up at the sky, his eyes focused on the sea of stars.

"You will never be again." Ren finished, completely handing over the sky lantern.

Takumi's face looked surprised for a moment, his lips parted and his eyes wide. After assimilating the words, he ended up smiling sincerely.

"How am I going to know what to do with this sky lantern?" Takumi asked, gazing gently at the incandescent light.

"You will be their guide, follow the light and the light will follow you."

Ren pulled away from the soul. In a slow motion, a whirlwind of flower petals started to surround Takumi, who began to take his first steps away from his tombstone.

Before he continued on his way, Takumi turned to Ren and walked close to him. A halo surrounded his silhouette and Ren swore that he had never seen someone as ethereal as Kawanishi Takumi.

A melancholy smile passed over his face, but it was erased the moment Takumi reached out and placed a kiss on his cheek.

It was just a chaste kiss, a tiny brush between two unknown entities, an affection so human that it made Ren gasp.

"I hope to see you again, Ren-kun."

And, with that, Kawanishi Takumi vanished, leaving only a trail of petals reminiscent that it hadn’t been a simple illusion.

Ren fell to his knees while taking the petals in his hands.

The moon marked the existence that time was still passing, regardless of the consequences.

That night, Kawashiri Ren prayed until his lips could keep up.

That night, Kawashiri Ren allowed himself to be more than a believer.

That night, Kawashiri Ren knew he was human.

**Author's Note:**

> If it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. I swear I didn't write this.
> 
> As always, thanks lau for helping me in this one. Please don't be shy to show some love on [takunism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weareinnoir/pseuds/takunism).
> 
> Sayounara. Follow me or talk to me, I swear I'm nice.
> 
> tw [@syoyasushi](https://twitter.com/syoyasushi)


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